FACING LIFE IN GENERAL!!!!

Face your past as it was, the present for what it is, & the future as it will be.......

What a powerful statement. That's really the only way we can live & be happy. Everyone, at some point has to face their past. The good, bad & the ugly. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was face my past. When I really sat down & did it, I found out that I really had a screwed up way of thinking. Well, not so much screwed up as just not understanding why I did the things I did or felt the way I did. I figured out I was blaming myself for stuff that happened when I was 10 years old. In order to understand this you really have to understand my history. I've never done this but, here it goes:

My mother was brutally murdered when I was an infant. Now, I was a baby so this really didn't affect me like you might think. Except that circumstances left me in a real bad spot. I was raised by my grandparents for the first 10 years of my life. You might think this was great that these people were there to take care of me but this only leads to more tragedy. My grandfather was a terrible alcoholic, which I believe was probably caused alot by grief over my mother's death, but that's still no excuse. But things weren't brought to light like they are these days. Not alot of people knew what to do with people like him, just take him to jail & let him sleep it off. My grandmother of course, was miserable with him & took pills to deal with her grief & misery. You didn't talk about things or seek rehab. You just lived it. Everyday.........Until you couldn't live it anymore, so my grandmother took me & left. That very well could've been a happy ending but instead it turned into a terrible tragedy that would forever change my life.

I remember the day very clear, we were going to my aunt's house in hopes that my grandfather wouldn't find us. So, my two aunts & my little 2 year old cousin were taking me & my grandmother there so the car wouldn't be there & he couldn't find us. My aunt Terri was very reluctant to take us there, she begged my grandmother not to go by the house first to pick up some clothes & things. We knew if he caught us there it would be trouble. But, my grandmother insisted. So, we pulled up & his truck was no where in sight so we all breathed a sigh of relief. The door was padlocked from the outside so seemingly no one was inside. We went in, me, my grandmother & little cousin. It wasn't long until we realized he was there waiting for us. My two aunts were outside getting some things from the shed.

It didn't take long, the whole incident was only a few minutes but it seemed like an eternity. He told me to take my cousin outside as he was walking over to my grandmother, I was only 10, so I didn't know what he was gonna do. I tried to get the baby before I heard the shots ring out. He shot her 5 times at point blank range, & then everything just fast forwards. My aunt running in, fighting over the gun with him, & in the struggle another shot rings out. Luckily it was him who got shot that time. Then, he just went over to the couch & laid down while we got my grandmother in the car & left for the hospital. He could've killed us all but he didn't. I can still hear her breathing, kind of like a gurgle, in the backseat while one aunt drove, the other held her head in her lap. When we got to the hospital, they just pulled her out on the ground & took me & my cousin inside. Then everything is just a blur until I get to yet another aunt's house later that day & find out after we left, my grandfather shot himself. And so, they were both gone.

I was 10 & for 15 years I blamed myself in the back of my mind that I should've done something more. Silly, huh? I didn't realize that at 10, I didn't know anything else to do. I couldn't, I was a little girl. Of course, that isn't the end of the story by any means! I never got any counseling because again, you just didn't do that back then, so by 25, I was a mother of 2 & just about to go over the deep end. I had become addicted to pain pills & just didn't have a clue what to do with myself. I was in legal trouble from writing my own prescriptions & just a mess. So, I almost lost my family, yet again, except I went into treatment & it was a wonderful place. I was there for 30 days & they truly changed my life. They taught me it wasn't my fault, I needed to forgive myself for my grandparents, for the way I had treated my two sweet little girls, & just for the mess I had become. But I had to forgive myself & let it go.

My life changed drastically because I faced my past as it was, I live my life in the present for what is is, & I look to future for what it will be. I hope this helps someone in some way. There is life after addiction & tragedy. It's been over 32 years since that day my little life changed, & I like to think everything I went through made me who I am today, which in my eyes, is a person who still makes mistakes, but is a person me & my children can be proud of.

Biz Sux-S - Helping Small Business Owners Create Real Business Success Thru Coaching: Face Your Past As It Was, Your Present As It Is, And Your Future As It Will Be

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Biz Sux-S - Helping Small Business Owners Create Real Business Success Thru Coaching: Face Your Past As It Was, Your Present As It Is, And Your Future As It Will Be

How to Stay Healthy During the Influenza A (H1N1) Pandemic

By Richard Ferri, eHow Expert in Primary Care/Men's Health

The recent outbreak of swine-origin influenza virus A (also termed H1N1), or more commonly as "swine flu," has many people concerned about their health. These concerns are justified but need to be placed into a perceptive to avoid a social panic that will not benefit anyone. Swine flu is a respiratory disease found in pigs caused by type A flu virus. It is contagious the same way any other known influenza virus is transmitted which includes person to person contact via coughing and sneezing. Swine flu cannot be transmitted by eating or handling pork, and properly cooked pork is safe to be consumed. Also, as with any influenza outbreak people with underlying medical conditions such as cancer, HIV/AIDS, poorly controlled diabetes and similar clinical conditions are likely more susceptible to acquiring swine flu if they come into contact with the virus. It is essential to remember that for anyone, regardless of their health status, the only way to get swine flu is that the individual has to come into contact with a person actively infected with a confirmed case of H1N1. This article is going to help you understand how to prevent swine flu, review the symptoms of infection, examine prevention and treatment interventions that are effective and available.